Hope or a Tease?

Faint lines on the latest pee sticks. They run in the picture from the earliest at top right to the latest at bottom left. Click the picture for a larger view.

We stopped at my sister in law's house this evening to check on her report of faint lines on the pregnancy tests she's been taking. We were honestly expecting them to be merely evaporation lines - greyish lines sometimes visible on such tests after they dry, even if the result is negative. This is what we saw.

The fourth down was from this morning. The next was from this evening. The last was from late tonight, and was done about an hour after my sister in law last used the bathroom. We were not expecting to see anything at all on that one, but the fact that we saw a faint line on that one leads up to believe there is something happening. We know it's not an evaporation line since it started to show while the strip was still wet, and they are definitely pink/purple colored.

False positives are very rare, but we are trying to be only cautiously optimistic. Even so, it's difficult to restrain ourselves. Only our past disappointments keep us from being more positive about our chances. Realistically, though, a pregnancy can fail at any time. Our previous attempts failed before this point, so hopefully the one problem was that my wife's uterus was somehow inhospitable, but these are from forty year old eggs so we're not free and clear yet. On our first attempt we got a single test with a faint line - probably what's known as a "chemical" pregnancy, when an embryo starts to implant but doesn't quite. This has gone on longer, so we're hoping for better but still worried.

Wish us luck. We'll still need it!

The Trouble With Autofocus

Since my parents live in New Orleans I've been watching hurricane Gustav and looking in from time to time on a couple webcams there. On one in the french quarter the last update was around a quarter to 6PM Monday, so I'm guessing it lost power or its connection to the server around then. The other is still active, but the camera evidently does not have its autofocus turned off because it's focused on the water drops on the window it's looking out of. Here are a couple shots from today.

Going For Five

We did the transfer this morning, putting five of our embryos into my sister in law. They were of average quality, all with some degree of fragmentation. We have some somewhat lesser quality ones still incubating, and will hopefully see a couple make it to blast and be freezable.

My wife's parents tagged along this time, though they had to sit in the waiting room. I was waiting with them during the actual procedure, though I did go back with my wife and her sister to weigh in on how many to transfer. We were pretty much unanimous on five given the quality and the nine we'd transferred in previous failed cycles. They had her drop trou and get ready right away, though, so I had to duck out of the room until she was in the bed and covered. The procedure went smoothly and afterward they left a freeze frame of the ultrasound up for me to see, showing my sister in law's uterus in magnified cross section with a little white line visible where the embryos and the fluid containing them were released. We talked with the doctor and estimated about a 20% chance of success.

Afterward, we went home to tend to some business and then went to my sister in law's to hang out and talk while my father in law cut the grass. My other sister in law, the middle one, showed up later with her two kids.

The doctor recommended three days bed rest, but everyone says he's a bit conservative about that. We talked about it among ourselves and decided her taking off work today and tomorrow would be a good compromise, given that she has a desk job.

We'll find out in about a week and a half if it worked or not. The odds are long but we can't help but hope for the best.

IVF 3: Post-Retrieval Update

The retrieval went better than we were anticipating in some ways, not as well as we'd hoped in others. Despite the worryingly estrogen plateau we got a good number of eggs. If I recall correctly it was 11 or 12 mature ones out of 21 good ones. As before, five others had cracked zonas which has the doctor puzzled. Still no idea why she's had so many do that, five every time.

The doctor called yesterday to tell us we had 13 fertilize. If things go as they have in our previous tries we'll have about half of those give us embryos, so we're anticipating roughly six or seven to choose from. Not sure how many we'll put back. I think my wife would like to put them all in, after having nine fail in her, but I think ultimately it's up to her sister to decide what she's comfortable with. The transfer is scheduled for tomorrow morning, though thankfully not near so early as the retrieval.

Wish us luck!

My wife's in the retrieval

My wife's in the retrieval room now. They've already given her a shot of anesthesia and I can hear her laughing.

IVF 3 Update: Triggered But Anxious

We triggered last night, but we're not feeling all that secure about it. My wife went in for a progress check yesterday. The follicles were the right size, but her estrogen was not up as much as expected. The doctor doesn't think that continuing the stimulation will make any difference so he told us to go ahead and trigger. We did so at 9:30 last night and have to be at the clinic for 7 tomorrow morning. In case you haven't read my earlier posts, it's about a hour drive so we're going to be getting up pretty early. I'm used to getting up a little before 8, so this will be fun, I'm sure.

We're not sure what we'll be getting out of this in terms of egg quantity or quality. I guess we'll find out tomorrow morning. Wish us luck.

IVF Take Three

Well, a lot has happened since my last post on this subject. I started a draft post mid July, but let that sit so long it's woefully out of date. So here's what's going on...

We went to the consult with the new doctor. We thought it would be a straightforward deal, just getting the details down for a try with my sister in law as the carrier. The doctor presented us with some options to mull over, though, including using donor eggs since my wife is now over forty. We went home and after a bit of hand wringing my wife decided that this is our last chance to have her own child so we would go with her eggs this time. Her sister is several years younger so if she's still willing we could try again later with donor eggs or adopted embryos. (Probably the latter since we're both not entirely comfortable with a child being from one of us but not the other, but would be fine with adoption if it weren't such an ordeal.)

Anyway, the protocol is underway. My wife is in the stimulation phase and will probably be ready for the retrieval in a week or so. Meanwhile my sister in law is primed for the transfer and waiting. (She has it easy: instead of shots she gets to use vaginal suppositories.)

We also got some good news today. My sperm numbers have improved greatly. The motility is greatly improved and the morphology is at 4% normal. The best morphology I've gotten in previous collections was 1%. I've been taking coenzyme Q-10 and vitamin E supplements most nights with dinner for the past month or so, the E for a bit longer. I don't know if that's what's made the difference, but my numbers are all at or near the minimum levels to be considered "normal" and I intend to continue. We both will be increasing our exercise as well to get in better shape, given that we now have an off chance of getting pregnant on our own. (It would be really crazy if she and her sister were both pregnant with our babies at the same time.)

I do believe we'll be having more sex. We've been off it for a bit. The low sperm counts & quality have been a bit of a downer, and it's hard not to think about it when you're thinking about sex. It just gives the whole thing a feeling of futility. Now, though, that load is lifting and we're both excited about it. I'm not sure when or if I'd be having any more analyses done, though, so there's a danger of uncertainty undermining that feeling if much time goes by with no luck that way. I guess we could always request an analysis.

With the numbers improved my wife asked the doctor if we were in IUI range now, and he said yes. I don't know if we'll do that, though. I read about a study recently that indicated that in cases of unexplained infertility using IUI (artificial insemination) or Clomid (to stimulate egg production) work no better than increasing the frequency of sex. Of course, you might say our infertility would be explained by my low counts & quality, but that in itself in unexplained, as is the fact that we've had three transfers of decent numbers of decent embryos with none implanting. I guess we'll see.