An Emotional Rollercoaster

A little recap to set the scene...

First we were happy to be doing something about having a baby by having an IUI. My wife responded well to the Clomid and things looked good. The next day we had fun collecting my sperm.

Then the sperm count came in, very low as I posted before. (Turns out the .3M is post-wash. Pre-wash it was .5. Still very low.) That was a blow. Our Dr. wasn't there so his partner handled us. We went ahead and injected the sperm since everything was ready, hoping for the best.

Then we figured we could probably afford at least one try at IVF, and maybe borrow from family for a second try. Things were looking a little better. The doctor called this morning to ask if his partner had gone over my numbers. My wife told him we'd seen them and she scheduled us for an initial IVF consult.

Then later this morning we got my full results faxed to us to bring for my urologist appointment tomorrow. 0% normal morphology. All my sperm are malformed. That was a heavy blow. I would have thought the doctor would have talked to my wife about that, but apparently there was confusion as to what we had seen and been told about. I called him and talked to the nurse, finally getting it through to her that we had not had a chance to ask the Dr. all our questions about the results. At that point I was feeling both sick and angry.

Then the Doctor called us back and we all go on together. It turns out that misshapen sperm can still be used with ICSI, in which a sperm cell is injected into an egg with a tiny sharp needle. The genetic material inside should be unaffected by the processes creating the misshapen sperm, although if we have a son he may have the same problem. Our chances of conception should be pretty much the same as a couple with normal sperm.

So, I'm feeling a bit more optimistic now, but I can't help wonder if the urologist is going to tell me tomorrow I have testicular cancer. :P